Recalibration

A good friend of mine is on a mission to recalibrate our emotional scale.

Let’s call him T. T would be the first to say that he has a depressive personality. His psychologist once suggested that he make a chart of his moods. (That’s where I got the idea for the mood chart on this blog, actually). On T.’s chart, the x axis represented feeling okay. His mood line never went above that line.

So for T., feeling “okay” is a really good thing. When T. is okay, he’s not devastatingly unhappy. He’s not even mildly depressed. In a nice feedback loop, the pleasure from feeling “okay” is almost enough to nudge his mood over that x axis.

Here is a dialogue that drives T. crazy:

Friend in the street: “Hey, T. , how ya’ doin’?”

T.: “Okay.”

Friend in the street: “Just okay?”

T. says: what’s wrong with being okay? Most people are “okay” most of the time!

I bring this up because I think my emotional expectations are a little out of whack. On this blog, 5 is average. Less than average is 3 or 4. Super Over-The-Top Happy is 7 or 8.

And yet, when I was feeling lonely I gave myself a 7. When I was feeling stressed and overcommitted, I gave myself a 6. And that’s not fair. It puts too much pressure on my daily life. In a not-so-nice feedback loop, it makes me feel badly about myself every time I’m not jumping for joy. When I look at life that way, I risk feeling badly about myself all the time.

So today I’m going to give myself a 7 because I am feeling really good. After a week of seasonal dissonance (seventy degrees and sunny in mid October! It’s just not right!) everything’s finally back in place. It’s Friday. I’m going to watch vampire films with live organ accompaniment tonight. It’s cloudy and windy and the leaves are turning colors and there’s no better weather for Halloween.

Weather: gray and windy and a bit chilly. Possibility of ghost sightings in late afternoon. Or zombies.

Moods:

Hannah: 7 out of 10 on the ““so miserable I can’t get out of bed” to “Jumping for Joy” scale.

Anna: 7 – She’s given up on stressing about roommates. And she’s happy it’s Friday.

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